Ramblings

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The New York Times magazine published a 10-page long, very detailed analysis of twenty-somethings. How they are delaying becoming an adult, how twenty-somethings are babies who live off their parents…etc, etc.

On one side of the spectrum, I have friends who have just graduated with a masters or who are STILL working toward their doctorate OR who have been gallivanting in the Peace Corps or the like. These people are entering the workforce for the first time at age 26+. (Cons: school debt, no retirement plan, other people their age have 4+ years of work experience.)

On the other side of the spectrum, I have friends who got married and had a baby right after college. Some are on baby number two. (Cons: wedding and child debt, possibly no time for a career, difficult to go back to school.)

In the middle are these twenty-somethings: Those who started a career right after college. We have a 401(K) retirement fund, possibly a couple companies under our belts, we’ve climbed a few rungs up the company ladder, and maybe even own a condo. (Cons: the older we get the harder it is to go back to school or start a family.)

From The New York Times article:
“With life spans stretching into the ninth decade, is it better for young people to experiment in their 20s before making choices they’ll have to live with for more than half a century? Or is adulthood now so malleable, with marriage and employment options constantly being reassessed, that young people would be better off just getting started on something, or else they’ll never catch up, consigned to remain always a few steps behind the early bloomers? Is emerging adulthood a rich and varied period for self-discovery, as Arnett says it is? Or is it just another term for self-indulgence?”

So with so many post college options, what’s a twenty-something supposed to do? There’s no clear path to take which is probably why the “quarter-life crisis” has emerged. And it goes a little something like this:

• Do we get married and have babies when we’re young so we can have a jet-setting kid-free life at age 40?
• Do we stay in school for a few more years because the job market is so sucky anyway and our MBA or law degree will “guarantee” us a $100k salary?
• Do we work really hard at our careers now so that when we’re 30 and successful we can finally settle down and get married without remorse?
• Do we quit our jobs now and travel the world while we’re still young because we have our whole lives to work hard and start a family?
• Do we put our life savings into buying a house and planting some roots, or do we fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants and rent an apartment because we switch jobs and cities so often?
• Do we spend a couple years in a “prestigious” low-paying volunteer or non-profit do-gooder position like the Peace Corps even though we have loads of college debt and no retirement savings?

From the New York Times article:
“It’s somewhat terrifying,” writes a 25-year-old named Jennifer, “to think about all the things I’m supposed to be doing in order to ‘get somewhere’ successful: ‘Follow your passions, live your dreams, take risks, network with the right people, find mentors, be financially responsible, volunteer, work, think about or go to grad school, fall in love and maintain personal well-being, mental health and nutrition.’ When is there time to just be and enjoy?” Adds a 24-year-old from Virginia: “There is pressure to make decisions that will form the foundation for the rest of your life in your 20s. It’s almost as if having a range of limited options would be easier.”

So what does a twenty-something do under this amount of stress? We try to do everything at once. We embark on a 3-year-long stressful career then go back to school and in the short time after graduation and before the new job, we travel the world and get engaged at the same time (true story). We move across the country chasing new jobs or a new degree while worrying about when we will ever pick one place to live so we can buy a house or get married (true story). We go to school for what seems like ages and our degree gets delayed because we travel and plan a wedding at the same time (true story).

Why do twenty-somethings live this life? How did they get in this conundrum? Here are some factors:

1. MONEY: Us twenty-somethings are usually in massive college loan debt because tuitions are absurdly and uncontrollably expensive.

2. QUALIFICATIONS: Most people get a degree in majors that do not translate to the job market (aka history) either because they weren’t thinking ahead or they didn’t know what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives at age 18. (Who can blame them?)

3. PRIORITIES: A lot of twenty-somethings I know would rather travel the world or go out to an expensive dinner or get another degree before they would put that money towards a house or a wedding or kids.

4. UNEMPLOYMENT: Our generation is going to be forever scarred by the terrible job market and the fact that a ton of us got laid off recently. We’re still unemployed or we’re getting a master’s degree for the time being or we’re living with our parents during the transition. Which brings us back to #1 and the debt and money problem.

The good news is that 30 is the new 20. Ask the psychologists. They’re calling it “emerging adult” and supporting it with data that our brains continue to mature until age 25 (not age 16 which was widely believed in the past).

The catch is that “emerging adulthood” isn’t really the same as “adolescence” or “childhood” because it’s possible to skip emerging adulthood completely. It’s not a psychological stage of your life that you have to pass through. For example, if you become a teen mom or you go straight from high school into a full-time job or a marriage, you’re more than likely skipping right over emerging adulthood.

The only conclusion to draw is that we’re privileged to experience emerging adulthood, quarter-life crisis and all. It’s a privilege to have choices. It’s a privilege to have support from parents (whether it’s emotionally or financially). It’s a privilege to be a twenty-something and get called a baby by The New York Times. We’ll tell you when we’re ready to be called adults. And when we are, at least we’ll be good at it.

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It has come to my attention that I may have an obsession. With food. Way more than a normal person. There are lots of “foodies” out there (but real foodies know not to say the word foodie because it’s totally annoying), but why? Why are some people okay with eating at chain restaurants and others would rather die a slow and painful death than eat dinner at an Applebees at 7 PM on a Friday night? (I’m shuddering at the thought.) And why aren’t I a better cook if I love food so much?

Last weekend, I went to the Art Institute of Chicago. I saw American Gothic, van Gogh’s self portrait, and Seraut’s A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte among other epic pieces of art. I also tried the semi-famous bacon-wrapped chorizo-stuffed dates at Avec, a popular restaurant in Chicago. It dawned on me today that trying a signature dish at a new restaurant is not much different that visiting the Louvre and bee-lining it straight to the Mona Lisa.

I frequent restaurants like someone might peruse a museum. Then I see what I’ve come for. It’s really impressive, I can’t make it myself, and I can’t find it anywhere else.  Naturally, anything with this description will pique my interest whether it’s art or food. To top it all off, I don’t need to be a great painter to appreciate Picasso. Therefore, I don’t have be a celebrity chef to appreciate the food served inside the restaurant.

Luckily, food is more affordable than a signed masterpiece and I don’t need to buy a ticket to get inside a restaurant. So I’ll continue to check restaurants off a list like I would check off iconic pieces of art or historic landmarks from my bucket list.And I’ll continue to practice my ordering skills and menu reading just like someone researches and recites the story behind a painting. (P.S. there is definitely an art to ordering food.)

There are endless amounts of amazing restaurants out there and local favorites so why waste a meal on a shitty chain restaurant?

Does this make foodies sound a little less crazy? I hope so.

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